


The Curtainless Window

by InspirationNation



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InspirationNation/pseuds/InspirationNation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin notices a couple in the building across from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gavin was looking out his bedroom window one night. The air was crisp and the full moon shone over his view of the streets. Sat on a stool, he was simply just gazing at the scenery, trying to clear his thoughts.

The Brit could see the shadows of people moving behind the curtains in the building across from him. Families, he assumed, people having dinner, others watching some TV. He imagined a couple sitting down on their couch watching something on Netflix. Holding hands, cuddling, and being in love.

It made him feel the emptiness of his own apartment. He heaved a heavy sigh.

Now was not the time to think of her again.

With his chin cupped in his hand, he let his thoughts wander as his attention shifted absent-mindedly around the view. From this window to that window, to those siblings playing with their toys, to some bloke doing his homework under a lamp. None of these images were particularly interesting. His attention moved on.

But at the corner of his eye, something sparked Gavin’s focus. His back straightened a tad. The window without any curtains set up had a lot of motion behind it. When he squinted and leaned closer for a better look, Gavin widened his eyes a bit. It was a bedroom window. Through it, two guys were having sex on their bed. From what he could see from this distance, one was averagely built looking with red hair, the other one was scrawnier with dark hair. He gawked a bit, simply staring at the movement of their bodies, before looking away quickly, a blush blooming on his face. The Brit physically shifted his body left, purposely attempting to find something else to gaze at, avoiding that curtainless window. After semi frantic looking, Gavin’s eyes settled on the family having dinner with the lilac curtains framing the scene.

But as hard as he tried to ignore the urge, his view would drift back to that couple (Gavin assumed they were a couple). Something was enticing in a non sexual way about them. The fact they seemed to know each others’ movements, the seeming smiles and laughs on their faces, he could actually feel their happiness protruding through the window. It made the Brit feel an odd sense of comfort and relief. He didn’t understand it in the slightest but it was there. He smiled a genuine smile he hadn’t in quite awhile.

But despite the fact he wasn’t a pervert, the longer he sat peering, the creepier he felt. Deciding it was prime time for rest, Gavin climbed into his bed, waiting for sleep to take him.

 

The next day, Gavin woke up to a Monday morning and the beeping of his alarm clock. 7:00AM. He rolled over to turn it off while groaning loudly. He sat up. Kicking his covers off of him, Gavin got out of bed and stretched, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes to attempt to wake up a bit. He went to further freshen his appearance in the bathroom.

Facing himself in the mirror, he stretched his face this way and that, slapped his cheeks a bit to give some shadow of alertness, basically trying to hide his fatigue.

Mondays were the worst days of the week for him (and for anyone, really) because he always slept at irregular hours on the weekend, cocking up his sleep schedule. Only to fix it during the weekday, and inevitably mess it up again. It was a vicious, self-inflicted cycle.

Although, considering he loved his job and all, it softened the blow enough for him not to be a bitter minge every Monday morning. Geoff and him were going to film some videos for Achievement Hunter today so he wanted to get to the office as soon as possible. He had a lot of editing to do afterwards since it was podcast day, as well, so he was going to be busy today.

After washing up, Gavin returned to his bedroom to get dressed before making some breakfast. He wriggled into a shirt he found on his floor, draped on a sweater, and started to look around for his reliable pair of skinny jeans. But when he passed by his window, he was suddenly reminded of the couple he saw last night.

He jumped into his jeans he found under his bed and walked over to his stool. Gavin leaned on his sill and looked around for the curtainless window. His eyes skimmed the building swiftly before settling on his sights.

Bingo.

The couple were still sleeping in their bed, seemingly unprompted by the beginning of a work week, with their bodies lovingly entwined. They were both shirtless and both were, thankfully for Gavin, wearing boxers or shorts of some sort. Their bedsheets were half on the brunet, half on the floor. The redhead was snuggling him on the nook of his shoulder and the brunet’s leg was draped over the redhead’s bottom half.

From what Gavin’s eyes could tell, they looked very peaceful.

He crouched in front of his window, just watching the two with innocent curiosity and interest. Jealousy arose a bit as well for the Brit.

He frowned as he tried to remember the last time he felt as at ease and as happy with someone as the couple seemed to be with each other.

It had been quite awhile since that day, yet he recalled it like it was yesterday.

Old memories fled through Gavin’s mind, both incredibly happy and unforgettably sad. How he first met her, their first date, their first kiss. Their last fight, her last few boxes, their last goodbye. He could almost hear the door slam and see her car drive away from the window he was looking through now.

His head swam in the sea of his past as he sighed heavily, bothered by the flashbacks of the moments he kept trying to forget.

But reality pulled the Brit out of his thoughts when he noticed the red headed one wake up. He reached over to his nightstand and seemingly turned off his alarm. He gently moved the brunet off of him, placing him softly on his presumed side of the bed. He kissed him and laid the half fallen blanket over his boyfriend’s body. The redhead stretched and, Gavin guessed, started to get ready for work.

At this point, Gavin realized he needed to get going a little early due to his busy schedule today.

He stood up, grabbed his keys and jacket, and walked out the door.

 

It was about 10PM when Gavin returned home.

In one quick movement, he opened his door with his key, practically jumped out of his shoes, and walked towards his room.

He quickly shed all his unnecessary clothing like a snake shedding his skin, his bed in his sights. He climbed into some comfy pajamas and face planted on his lovely mattress, his body immediately relaxing in its warmth. It had been a long day today.

But, he finished all the videos that Geoff and he had planned, did ninety percent of the editing he needed to get done, and had some bevs while doing the podcast. Which was a nice way to unwind a bit at the end of the day.

He laughed quietly to himself as he thought of tonight’s conversation and topics. Burnie had another story of his brother messing with him once again that was quite hilarious and ingenious. He needed to learn that man’s way, in all honesty. He had never heard of anyone who was so quick and efficient at fucking with a person. What a master. Gus, Burnie, and him also gave Barbara some crap about being from Canada when they were discussing bizarre Canadian things and people which brought some laughs from the sound booth.

She was quick to turn on Gavin about being British, though, which made him the new subject of ridicule.

A usual day at work of beratement, teasing, and fun. Gavin smiled into his pillow.

But after almost drifting to sleep, the Brit jostled himself awake. He needed to wash up first before going to bed. As tired as he was, he wasn’t going to sleep all grimey and with alcohol breath. It was never pleasant the next morning.

He got up and trudged into his bathroom, brushed his teeth, washed his face, quite zombie-like, and proceeded to essentially jump into his covers for some much needed rest.

But just like that morning, the couple flashed into his mind, curiosity slapping him between the eyes.

And as if sleep was suddenly forgotten, again Gavin searched for the curtainless window. His eyes were now much quicker at spotting it, he noticed.

He sat down on his miniature stool. At this time of night, the couple were just lounging on their bed, video game controllers in both hands, facing a screen Gavin couldn’t see. He couldn’t tell for sure if they were PlayStation or Xbox ones, but he thought most likely the latter.

They weren’t doing anything extravagant yet the Brit continued to sit there, interest plastering his face. The redheaded one looked like he was getting frustrated at whatever was happening on his TV as the brunet laughed ridiculously at him. Either they were competing and the brunet was better, or they were doing co-op and the brunet was better.

Redhead started to get annoyed as the brunet sat up to kiss him on the cheek and ruffle his hair, as if comforting a child upset they couldn’t win something. Which seemed to only elevate his aggressive mood. Gavin laughed audibly at the scene at hand, imagining the redhead swearing like a sailor and the brunet worsening the case by being a sarcastic asshole and making ridiculing comments as their mouths formed words he couldn’t hear. It was very amusing.

After some intense gameplay, the brunet raised his fist in the air as a sign of victory, a cocky grin lighting his features as his boyfriend seemed to be complaining about the game. Was he a sore loser? Gavin didn’t know. Either that, or Mr. Master At Video Games won too often. If he were in their situation, he probably would have done the same.

He continued to watch them until the couple went to bed, kissing before turning off the lights, the redhead bloke seemingly calmed down. The brunet reached to a wall and the window suddenly flashed into black.

Gavin yawned and stretched, reminded of his endeavor to rest before he was sidetracked. He looked at his alarm clock. It was 11:20PM already.

He got off his stool and climbed under his covers, a smile tugged at his lips.

 

**_A few weeks later . . ._ **

It was almost Christmas time but Gavin wasn’t feeling jolly in the slightest. Lights were strewn everywhere he could see and decorations were stuck on balconies and windows. It was pretty, sure, but Gavin just wasn’t getting into the spirit. Why? That was an easy question.

There was a box in his closet labelled ‘Christmas Crap’ which he forgot to return because it was her stuff, not his. He didn’t know if he would ever get the chance to give it back but he kept it anyway, just in case.

In case she ever decided to pick it up. For now, he wouldn’t use it. He wasn’t in the mood to buy his own decorations and it made him sad, anyway. So, it remained there collecting dust.

To fill the lack of spirit in the air, he resorted on seeing what the couple were doing for the holidays. He did that a lot every since he became aware of their existence, looking to them for some laughs or for some joy. Which to Gavin, didn’t really seem all that healthy and sane. It just became an integral part of his routine somehow. He didn’t want to think much of the psychological implications of what that could have possibly meant.

Anyway, luckily for him, the couple didn’t go on vacation somewhere and remained at home for the holidays.

They seemed to be people who loved Christmas. He noticed one evening that the two were setting up their decorations in their bedroom with enthusiasm and energy as it was around 3AM in the morning (Gavin had been binge watching Game of Thrones that night). The two were messing around with the stuff, throwing ornaments and tinsel at each other.

But despite their rough housing and such, they were eventually able to set everything up. Lights around the bed frame, a small Christmas tree next to the brunet’s side of the bed, pictures of Rudolf and Santa on the wall, some tinsel hanging around the window frame. And those were only the things Gavin could see. He imagined how the rest of their home looked like and their actual tree in their living room. If they spent so much time with the bedroom, he couldn’t imagine the apartment and the bombardment their guests would feel of Christmas everywhere in their sights.

They’re such children, he thought. It brought a smile to his face.

 

When Christmas Eve came by, Gavin was alone in his apartment, playing some video games on his TV. Geoff, Griffon, and Millie were celebrating Christmas at Geoff’s mother’s house and although he considered the Ramseys family, he wasn’t going to intrude on that. He was going to hang out with Barbara, Miles, and Arryn the next day for Christmas bevs and some dinner, anyway, so he was going to get his holiday fill then.

When he was watching the couple beforehand, he found that they were entertaining a few people. Friends he assumed because none of them looked similar or of the age to be their parents or their siblings. The ‘party’ seemed mostly set in their bedroom for some odd reason. Perhaps because the Xbox was set up there? Gavin chuckled as he thought how lazy the two were, always wanting to lounge in bed when already doing an unphysically stimulating activity.  

That was a few hours ago and Gavin was almost ready for bed. He headed back into his room to see what they were doing.

The couple were, Gavin guessed, watching a Christmas movie at the moment. Maybe, maybe not. Whatever it was, they sat on their bed enjoying their entertainment, eating some snacks (at this bloody hour?). Standard movie food and beverages of popcorn and pop, and because it was the holidays perhaps, they literally had cookies and milk. Gavin smirked at the scene. How old were they? He got his handy stool and enjoyed the scene a bit longer.

At some point during the movie, they both laughed quite hard, which caused the cup in the redhead’s hand to spill some milk on the covers. They both jumped, and the brunet raced out of the frame, only to rush in 10 seconds later with paper towels and a bottle of water.

The brunet gestured to the mess like ‘what the hell!’, while the redhead seemed to say ‘it was your fault’.  

They then spent the next minutes cleaning up. Afterwards, they just went back to lounging on the bed, their glasses on their nightstands this time.   

Free entertainment was what Gavin considered them. It was pleasant.

He yawned quite loudly and thought a good night to the two, before brushing his teeth and going to bed. But not before feeling a sort of happiness that the couple existed. As odd as he kept reminding himself it was.

 

Gavin didn’t know at that point how much this couple was going to mean to him.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

For the next few weeks. which continued to turn into months, Gavin was always aware of the couple’s presence. It was a daily routine that he stuck with and which he honestly enjoyed.

An interesting thing that he could not help but notice was that he had never seen two people so in love, in every sense of that phrase, with every meaning of those words. The passion and the sentiment was all there. He could feel it. Despite the fact Gavin stopped believing in that notion, they kept showing him it was actually real.

He didn’t mean flowers and chocolates every day or that movie-esque bullshit that depicted love as sunshine and rainbows with some comedy on the side. He meant knowing your partner wholeheartedly and having your love for them grow with every passing day.

The two just seemed so perfect.

Sure, they looked young and inexperienced with that level of commitment, age wise perhaps younger than himself, but he couldn’t help but root for them to go the distance. The Brit could feel the sides of his mouth rise as he thought about it. It just made him incredibly happy knowing that it was possible. That it existed.

And so, there he sat every single day, watching the couple that gave him hope again.

Due to all his watching, Gavin learned more and more about the two and their routines. But because it got annoying to refer to them in his mind by their hair colour all the time, and he would never learn their real ones, Gavin decided on names for the two.

The redhaired one, he decided to call him Michael, would leave to go to work at 8 and come back around 4. Which was similar to Gavin’s schedule, as well, which is why he always noticed.

The dark haired one, he thought Ray was a suitable name, would leave and come home after Michael. Gavin never saw Ray leave in the morning as he was still in bed or saw him when Gavin got home until he returned to his apartment after 6PM.

He would be aware if one of them was running late or accidently sleeping in. Also, through observation, suspected Ray enjoyed his sleep and that Michael was an earlier bird.

Although, anyone seemed like that in comparison to Ray.

He would notice whenever one of them left home, they would always kiss once on the lips, once on the cheek. He would see that they spent quite a lot of time on the weekends sitting and playing video games, eating pizza, and making out. It seemed like Michael was the cook in their relationship and Ray was the more organized one because it appeared he always made the bed after he got up. Which was something that no one Gavin knew ever did.

Another thing he couldn’t help but notice was that Michael was usually on top and Ray was usually on the bottom during sex. He didn’t like to think about how much he knew of these strangers’ sex lives. But boy, it was difficult not to notice it. They did go at it pretty frequently.

Aside, from the physical, they also did quite romantic things for each other. Well, romantic in their sense. For example, once, for Gavin was guessing it was Michael’s birthday, Ray woke him up by playing guitar (he didn’t seem to do it very expertly) and wearing a ridiculous sombrero with ‘Happy B-Day’ written on the edge. Michael laughed very hard, hugging his stomach and whatnot, before putting on the sombrero himself and kissing his boyfriend. It was a very sweet sentiment considering Ray hated waking up if he didn’t need to and that he didn’t think Ray really played the guitar (so where did it come from?).

Michael made Ray breakfast in bed pretty frequently considering he was always up before him. Sometimes it was something homemade like pancakes or waffles. Sometimes it was burgers and fries from here or there. Which wasn’t very pleasant in Gavin’s opinion, but Ray’s smile shined regardless so he must have loved it. Probably a bloke who could eat whatever he wanted without getting fat, Gavin assumed.

As he continued on with his year, he felt that he was continuing it with them, because they were now a part of his life. He couldn’t help but feel that way about them. When Gavin was having a rough day, their presence was a comfort even though they weren’t aware of him at all. But their happiness helped his, and that was a cycle he was willing to partake in.

And the cycle continued for awhile.

But life is a bitch.

Gavin was a little late one night due to some forgotten errands. It was about 5PM when he returned home, which meant, in terms of their schedule, Michael was already at their flat. Gavin put his groceries in their proper places and walked into his bedroom to change and glance at the curtainless window.

His jaw dropped at the scene.

Michael was alone in their bedroom. He was face down on the floor, motionless, with what seemed to be a spilt drink and a glass near his body. He didn't appear to be breathing. But of course, how could the Brit tell from this distance? He started to become very jumpy, which was what Gavin did when he was panicking.

Thoughts whirled in his head of what to do. Ray didn't get home until 6. He couldn't leave him there for an hour. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious (possibly dead) or what could have been the cause.

He couldn't call 911, he didn't know the apartment number, names, any useful information, really. He couldn't phone Ray. That wasn't even his name and how would he even begin to try and contact him? As Gavin paced his bedroom, he contemplated what to do, trying to rack his brain for a plan. He could run across the street and attempt to find their apartment by counting the floors and windows. Yes, that's the best thing he could think of.

But how would he explain himself?

“My name is Gavin. I live across the street. I have been watching you and your boyfriend for several months now. To the point that I knew you wouldn’t be home to call 911, so here I am instead. Nice to meet you”?

But he made the choice that Michael’s health was much more important than the awkward social situation he was about to put himself into.

He was about to grab his Converse and scramble to the door when suddenly, Ray rushed into the view of the window. Thank god, Gavin thought, he must have gotten off work early or something.

He could see the dark haired one rapidly typing a number on his phone with one hand as he quickly knelt down, cradling Michael's body with the other. Ray looked frantic as he seemed to yell into his phone, probably explaining to the 911 operator their location, what was the matter, maybe trying to describe Michael’s condition. Ray hung up and held his boyfriend’s head and torso in his arms, rocking slightly.

Gavin’s nails dug into his windowsill with his eyes locked on the curtainless window, anxiety coursing through his veins.

Michael was alive he assumed but that didn’t lessen his worry in the slightest. Was Michael going to be okay? What happened? Was it a common occurrence Gavin just never noticed? No, it couldn’t be. He spent an embarrassingly large amount of time watching these two over the past months. He would have known. He racked his brain, looking for any possibilities.

Time passed at an agonizing rate as Gavin waited for the ambulance. His emotions so built up inside him he was shaking. He wanted to yell, to scream at Ray that Michael was going to be fine, that he was going to get right back up, that Ray shouldn’t worry. It might have been dehydration, or a simple migraine gone bad or something. Gavin wasn’t a doctor so he didn’t know much. But it couldn’t have been cancer or some disease, Michael couldn’t have been dying. He started to jump around more.

The Brit’s ears perked up as he heard sirens coming towards their street, getting louder and louder. In the corner of his eye, the flashing red and white lights came racing down the road. It parked outside the building and two large men in navy blue suits appeared with a stretcher, racing into the lobby. Silence ensued in Gavin’s world.

About two minutes later, they were in the room. They picked Michael up gently but quickly and lowered him onto the stretcher, strapping him in. Ray looked so helpless and lost throughout the procedure, but came back enough to race behind the paramedics as they left their apartment. Gavin waited for the three to appear at the bottom of building, his fingers and feet tapping nervously. Sure enough, they burst through the door, running to the ambulance. The two men secured Michael and Ray climbed in with him. Then the sirens were turned on once again, the light flashed almost blindingly, and the ambulance drove off.

Gavin’s eyes followed the van until he couldn’t see or hear it any longer.

The Brit hadn’t been sleeping well since that night. He was worried about Michael’s condition and his health. He was worried about Ray’s mentality and his behaviour.

Michael didn’t return the next day, or the day after that, or even the week after that. What in the world was happening to him?

Gavin assumed Michael was in the hospital but for what, he didn’t have a clue.

Ray wasn't doing well, either. He noticed Ray would buy balloons almost every day when he came back from work. Balloons all in different styles and colours. Sometimes there were other presents like stuffed animals and the like, as well. On the weekends, Ray was gone most of the day, gifts in hand, probably visiting Michael at the hospital. He would return in the evening, looking so worn out, so sad. Just going straight to their bedroom and plopping himself on their bed. All he did was sleep. Or try to.

Some mornings, Ray would be up before Gavin which further showed his unrest.

And once, when Gavin woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, he noticed Ray was sleeping on the floor, with the pillow that was usually on Michael’s side in his arms.

It was like he couldn’t be in their bed without him.

He wouldn't play any video games or watch TV as much as he used to. His appetite, previously the biggest Gavin had ever seen, shrunk to almost nothing. 

Ray was stone, soulless. 

It was terrible to witness.

He wished he could help but Gavin knew that was a pointless thought that just weighed his mood down.

Sometimes he forgot he really didn’t know these people, that Ray’s name wasn’t actually Ray, that Michael’s name could actually be Nathan or something. From Gavin’s perspective, it was like he was their friend. Watching out for them when needed, being happy when they were both happy, worrying about them when things were tough. But as much as he felt that way, reality always set in to tell the Brit the couple didn’t feel the same way. Because they didn’t know Gavin even existed.

Nevertheless, he continued to be a sort of guardian angel for Ray. Despite the fact it didn’t make sense, he felt like he was helping.

He would try to mentally yell at Ray to eat, to drink, to play some video games, and get his mind off Michael for a second. Sometimes he did, which made Gavin feel a sense of accomplishment and aid, and when he didn’t, he would think he wasn’t yelling loudly enough.

It wasn’t exactly a good mentality, but it kept Gavin’s sanity during his restlessness. He wondered if there was a psychological term for what he was feeling. Maybe the Germans had a word.

Day after day, guardian angel Gavin continued to watch over the brunet, hoping and begging for his spirits to lift. But as time went by, nothing changed. It was like Ray was in a rut, no higher, no lower. Every day was the same monotonous, expressionless, nothing.

Had he received bad news about Michael? Or good news, on a more positive note? What was going on?

Gavin still didn’t know how he was doing at any point. It continued to worry the life out of him. Unlike Ray, he couldn’t watch Michael, he couldn’t track his progress, or anything. Gavin was stuck in the shadows and he didn’t see any light coming in any time soon.

The clock continued to tick as the couple behind the curtainless window was just Ray. Sad and alone Ray. He hated it.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Michael was snuggled in his bed when Gavin returned from work one day. His red hair was unmistakable. He was so surprised and happy he actually leapt for joy. Thoughts raced through his head, about the couple finally being together again, of no longer seeing Ray depressed, of Michael’s health recuperating, of no more worrying about the two. He laughed as he thought about how much cringing and looking away he would have to do once they start to have sex again. He wouldn’t care this time because it meant Michael’s strength was back. Which would mean happy hour for Ray. Lucky bloke. 

From the moment he returned home, he watched the window. Michael mostly slept and didn’t really move or get up, which was understandable and expected. He waited for Ray to come in to finally see a smile appear on his face, a smile he really missed seeing.

Hours passed by and Gavin's anticipation was hitting the ceiling. 

As soon as Ray stepped into view, he couldn’t contain his excitement. 

The brunet seemed to have said hi with a slight smile on his face, not the sunny beam Gavin was expecting or anticipating. He was a bit disappointed at the lack of excitement, but maybe he was just tired from the day. His loved one did seem to have almost died. That must take the energy out of someone. He dismissed the thought.

The brunet took off his sweater and jeans, laid his glasses on his nightstand, and simply in his boxers and his shirt, climbed into bed and snuggled in with his boyfriend. It was still very early, but after awhile it seemed like they both fell asleep.

The Brit was comforted by the familiar scene and simply gazed at them, happy to see the usual again after so much emptiness. 

Gavin went to bed later that night with a large grin plastered on his face for the first time in weeks, his mood elated.

 

It didn’t last very long. As Gavin continued to witness the two, checking on them even more frequently and more attentively nowadays, the Brit realized something.

Michael wasn’t any getting better yet. He appeared to be quite thin now, no longer the medium built person he was. His face looked gaunt and stricken even from the distance he was. His red curls seemed lifeless. Michael just seemed generally unhealthy.

He stayed in bed all day, didn’t really eat, needed help getting up and sitting back down. Ray was there by his side to help all the time. Coercing the redhead to at the least nibble on something, to drink some water.

Also, it seemed that Ray didn’t go to work, either as he was constantly with Michael. He was always home when Gavin was home which was unusual with his work schedule. He must have gotten leave for a bit to take care of his boyfriend, Gavin thought, which meant that perhaps . . . ?

He forced his thoughts to shut down as soon as they crept near. He wasn’t going to think about that possibility. Michael was going to get back to his old self. Maybe it was just taking a bit longer than he anticipated. Again, Gavin was no where near a doctor. What the hell would he know? Michael’s going to be fine. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to be fine.

If he were actually . . . that, he wouldn’t be home, right? He’d still be in the hospital or at the least half robot with medical equipment. Michael didn’t have IVs sticking out of him and there were no fancy machines around that seemingly kept him going. He simply lay in bed.

Gavin breathed in and out. It was just taking longer, he suspected, that was it. People just don’t spring into action after seemingly having a near death experience. He was being too impatient. He had to wait. He had to just give him some more time.

 

When Gavin came back from work, he immediately raced to his bedroom, just for his usual checking up on the two.

For the first time in a very long time, since Christmas he guessed, he saw multiple people in the two’s apartment. Gavin could see about eight through the window, but others walked out of view and more walked in. They were mostly in the bedroom which the Brit found odd. But when he squinted further past the mass of people, he realized the reason was because Michael was in bed.

Was this a party? No, it didn’t have a celebratory air at all. It wasn’t a ‘Michael is better now, hip hip hooray, let’s have some champagne’ kind of occasion. It seemed solemn, monotonous.

Sort of like a wake.

Oh no. No bloody way.

Two people were sitting next to the bed. Ray and an older women. The woman had red hair, Michael’s nose, and some other features. It must have been his mother. She was crying, her handkerchief in one hand, Michael’s hand in her other. She was wiping away her tears when Gavin noticed Ray seemed to be crying, as well.

Michael’s mother was talking to both of them but unfortunately, Gavin obviously couldn’t hear what was being said. At some point, she smiled and released her hand from Michael to place it lovingly on Ray’s face, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb. Ray smiled and his mouth started to move as he clasped his hand over hers. Frustration set in even further as the Brit was still unable to hear their conversation.  

The three talked a bit, with the occasional person coming up and saying this or that, chuckling at something or simply stating things. At some point, a young blonde woman came into view and patted Michael’s mother on the back, saying something close to her ear. She then turned to the mass of people, as well. Whatever the blonde said, it made Michael’s mother and everyone else slowly disperse into another room leaving Michael and Ray alone.

As soon as the last person seemed to have left, the brunet’s hands immediately started to cover his face. He shook slightly as Michael reached over to embrace him tightly. He stroked his back slowly and said something which caused Ray to calm down a tad. After a bit, Ray’s hands left his face and he placed them into Michael’s.

They sat there talking, both of them teary. Some laughs and smiles appeared here and there. Ray seemed to have joked about something that made Michael’s face playfully go sour which caused him to chuckle.

Michael reached over and took Ray’s face in his hands and kissed him gently and slowly on the lips.

As if he was saying goodbye.

And in that moment, Gavin knew.

He didn’t know when and where it was going to happen, but it was inevitable. Michael was going to die.

 

The night came shortly thereafter.

Gavin was watching the couple, including Michael's mother, like his regular routine. Michael was sleeping in his bed.

His mother seemed to have been staying with the two, helping Ray take care of her son, allowing the brunet to sleep a little more, to not have to cook (as he was definitely not a chef, Gavin identified), to help clean the apartment.

As he sat in his chair, gazing at the three, he wondered what it was like to know that a person you loved, whether that was a spouse, a friend, or a family member, was dying in front of your eyes and you were powerless to stop it, to literally watch someone's life slowly seep out of them.

Gavin had never had someone close to him pass away. His parents weren't that old, even his grandparents were still kicking around. It was so difficult to articulate. 

But whatever emotions Gavin tried to muster up in his head, he imagined the pain was a hundred times worse than he could possibly think of.

Especially for a mother and a soulmate.

So, when Michael’s mother and Ray were sitting next to Michael’s bed that fateful night, the two holding hands, crying, and staring at their loved one, Gavin couldn’t help but cry, as well.

And soon as Ray reached over to close his soulmate’s eyes for the last time, to kiss his lips for the last time, to touch his face for the last time in his life, Gavin shot up off his stool, and climbed in his bed, using his sheets like a shield from the reality.

He wiped his eyes and shut them hard, begging sleep to help him forget.

 

It had been several weeks since Michael passed away, and since then, every day felt empty. Gavin missed seeing him laugh and smile, missed his energy and his enthusiasm. He missed him so much it hurt. A person he had never met, a person he didn’t even know the name of. The redhead had been so invested in Gavin’s life, he felt the loss like anyone else would have. It was absolutely terrible. But if this was how he was, he couldn’t imagine what Ray was experiencing. Michael’s mother left a few days after the night, her and Ray comforting each other as much as possible while she was there. So when she left, he was alone once again.

During these weeks, Gavin watched over Ray whenever he could. He would wait for Ray to go to bed before he even considered sleep, he would wait for Ray to come home and got anxious when he was late. He watched to see how he was doing, if he was eating properly, and if he was sleeping enough. It was difficult considering the distance and the limited view there was but Gavin tried his best.

But what he knew he could never do for Ray, what he needed most of all, was be there for him. There was more than distance between them in that aspect. The day Michael was taken from him, Ray wasn’t the same person. From what the Brit could tell beforehand, he was a happy go lucky, somewhat overly organized person. He was always cheerful and playful, always seemed to joke around and make Michael laugh. Although he might have seemed introverted, when he was with Michael, he was the sun. But now that his boyfriend was gone, Gavin never saw a smile cross his lips anymore. The first week after the death, all Ray did was cry. It was heartbreaking to watch. People came and went, some brought baskets of food, some flowers, to try and comfort Ray. But when they left, he just bundled himself up in bed with a tissue box next to him and stayed there until, assuming, he got hungry. Sometimes, it seemed as though he didn’t eat at all.

Nowadays, he would just come home and climb into bed. On some odd days, he would maybe watch TV, maybe have some snacks, play some videos games, but that was it. That was his routine.

Gavin wished with all his heart that he could do something for him. Let him know that someone was rooting for him, that someone was out there with all the confidence in the world that he was going to be okay. Pat him on the back, give him a hug and say ‘You can do it.’ But Gavin knew that wasn’t possible.

 

On a night which was one of the odd days Ray played some videos games, Gavin was half watching Ray, half going through his Twitter when his phone rang in his hand. It was his mother. He knew ignoring her again wouldn’t end up well for him so he answered.

After a conversation that felt like an eternity, he hung up with a huff. It was decided. Gavin was going to visit for the holidays and spend Christmas in England. The holidays were nowhere to be seen or cared for in the world of Gavin. Not with Ray like this. He tried to make up an excuse to get out of it. Who was going to watch Ray for him? No one. He needed to make sure he was alright and he couldn’t do that thousands of kilometres away. But what could he have said? “Sorry, mum. I have sort of put myself in charge of making sure this stranger is living, eating, and basically functioning since the love of his life passed away. Even though he doesn’t know who I am in the slightest and has never even met me, I feel very comforted knowing he’s okay. So, next year?”

That wasn’t going to cut it. He groaned loudly and typed in his packing checklist on his phone, defeated by a short British woman who wasn’t even the queen.

He gazed at Ray, in his empty apartment. No Christmas lights or decorations, no festive air in the slightest. It made his heart ache when he remembered this time last year Michael and Ray were decorating their room together, messing around, having fun. Both of them were very into the holidays and Gavin could see their excitement and their jolly spirit, one could say.

The room remained dark up until the day Gavin left for England.

 

Gavin raced home from the airport. Throughout his whole 10 day trip, his mind did not leave Ray. He was easily distracted and wasn’t really participating in conversation or in family endeavors. When his mom asked what was going on, the Brit couldn’t answer truthfully, so he lied and just said work issues. He was sure he pissed off his family considering he only saw them a few times a year and wasn’t going to again for another six months, them being in England and all, but at that point, he just didn’t care. He was focused on Ray.

He got to his apartment door, rattled the key in vigorously, and burst into his bedroom, the window in sight.

He was slightly taken aback. For the first time in over a year, Gavin was unable to pinpoint the curtainless window. His eyes skimmed the building frantically as he continued to get more nervous.

When he finally located it, he frowned. The reason he couldn’t find it right away because suddenly, there was an open blue curtain draped over it. Michael and Ray never had a curtain on their window. Ever.

When the Brit looked closely, he noticed that their bed and nightstands weren’t even there. There were just boxes piled up and stacked around the room. Was Ray moving? Was he reshuffling things? What was going on? He waited to see if Ray was home, if he would walk into his view. After about fifteen minutes of nervous anticipation, he concluded no and went to organize his things to distract himself. He would check a little later.

When he was done putting away some of his clothes and throwing others in the hamper, Gavin took a shower to wash off the airport from his skin.

His thoughts flooded themselves with worries about what that curtain meant, where in the world was Ray, and if he was okay.

With nothing on but a towel around his waist, Gavin went to inspect again. He found the window and his eyes sprang open as he saw some movement behind it. He peered closely, now harder with those damn curtains but he was excited to see Ray.

But it wasn’t him, it was another brunet guy with a brunette girl. They were walking around, pointing at stuff, talking to the other while making rectangles with their fingers. It seemed as though they were planning where they were going to put their things, where they were going to orient their furniture or something. Which meant only one thing to Gavin.

Ray was gone.

He must have moved out quickly and efficiently because he had only been on his trip for under two weeks.  

Gavin sat down heavily on his bed, his mouth slightly agape, simply staring at his own window.

It hit him like a train the fact he was never going to see Ray again. He was never going to know if he was getting better or perhaps, though he hoped not with all his heart, worse. He wouldn’t be able to watch over him and make sure he was alright anymore.

It was such a sudden end to a large part of Gavin’s life.

He wasn’t even able to see him off or say good bye. He wasn’t prepared in the slightest for this.  

Two people he had never met, never spoken a word to, and never able to learn the actual names of. Two people who were strangers in almost every sense of that word. But they were two people he loved and cared for nonetheless.

But now, they were both gone.

The couple behind the curtainless window.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has bothered to read this and for all the kind words!  
> It's the first story I've ever published and I hope it was bearable.  
> I know there are parts that speed through or don't flow as nicely as they could.  
> But thanks again. :D  
> Someone in the comments mentioned there should be a side story where Ray meets Gavin or some acknowledgement of that sort.  
> I have been thinking about it.  
> Maybe?  
> (NO PROMISES)


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